From Cyan Lotus Out Of Blue Water to lots of things done with uranium
You will know, of course, that one of the most important issues facing our country is the fact that we currently have an ever-increasing number of people who have reached retirement age. And indeed, despite the fact that the government is trying constantly to contain this by increasing the age at which we can take our state pensions, the number of people reaching the age at which they can take their pensions is still going up.
And I have noticed of late that I am getting a growing number of customers coming to the facility who might well themselves be of a certain age. And some of them do discuss with me the fact that they are putting things into storage because, having reached that age, they find themselves downsizing their living accommodation (or possibly downsizing their part of their living accommodation) as their off-spring move back into the family home, no longer being able to afford the rents that are now being demanded by the local letting agents.
Of course, what people choose to store with me is their business, and I never interfere but I do on occasion get into conversation with my customers, including, of course, some who have reached retirement age.
For some of these people time is sometimes no longer of the essence. But that is not to say that such customers are sitting around all day with nothing to do. While I am sure that such a fate does befall some members of society who have stopped the daily grind of having to go to work, most of the retired people I see find themselves ever more busy.
Some, of course, are helping out with the grandchildren, collecting them from school, doing a spot of baby-sitting and so forth, while some enjoy walking the dog. But others, as far as I can see, will take on a multiplicity of activities and can end up far fitter than the people who find themselves still in work.
Now these activities are not all physical by any means, and indeed a mix of mental and physical activity is always emphasised by medical people.
And so it was that I recently discovered that one of my older customers not only does his spot of walking with a local group, but he also occupies a small part of every day searching the internet for the whackiest things he can find.
And this week he brought me in print outs of two items, asking me if I would like to choose which was the oddest.
The first item came from Amazon. Now I must admit I do like Amazon – that is the supplier of all sorts of things by post rather than the river, although I am sure the river is a good place to go as well.
And today, and as my customer pointed out, it seems Amazon has an advert from a supplier of a product priced at £11,895. Which might seem a lot but does come with free delivery so that is all right. And there are apparently only two left in stock so one needs to hurry.
“But what is it?” I hear you ask. Or I would if you were closer by.
Well, it is a SweatEvaporating / Sauna / HealthyUrn / NanoAnion / NegativeIon / FarInfraredRay / Hyperthermia / Fumigate / PulseMagneticField / Porcelain / Underglaze Blue And White-glazed—Cyan Lotus Out Of Blue Water made by Sungao.
Now I know that is a bit of a mouthful so with the aim of being ever helpful I decided to delve deeper and discovered that, “Known as air vitamin, nano anions are dissolved in vapour by healthy urn. Through human lung into bloodstream, nano anions can promote human body metabolism and strengthen physiological action.”
A little later we are told “Healthy urn can fumigate with boiled aerial fog.”
My customer asked me if I had any boiled aerial fog in storage. I told him I would have to check, and carried on reading.
The advert went on like this for quite a while but I was still left wondering what it was all about, and so I skipped to the end, looking for a helpful summary, only to be told that “After stimulating human body, pulsed magnetic field therapy of healthy urn has regulating function for blood circulation, facial, detox, endocrine and even the whole body.”
Now no one has thus far brought one of these healthy urns into the Admiral storage facility but, apparently, you crawl inside the thing and it makes you better – and prevents senility.
So we had a jolly laugh about that one, and decided that neither my customer nor I would buy the thing until it went on special offer. But I was keen to add what the second odd thing was that he had found.
Here he handed me a print out of a news page with a quote from President Trump. I read it and laughed, but didn’t believe it was true. So together we looked it up, and seems it was something the President said. Here it is…
“We had Hillary Clinton give Russia 20 percent of the uranium in our country. You know what uranium is, right? It’s this thing called nuclear weapons. And other things. Like lots of things are done with uranium. Including some bad things. But nobody talks about that.”
My customer then asked me if I had any uranium in the Admiral storage facility. I confirmed that as with aerial fog, I did not. We both agreed that was probably for the best.
Admiral Document Storage